John Satisfy: Good Morning! Welcome to Erotic Satisfiction. It's been quite a few weeks since I've started doing these interviews and I'm really excited to sit down with Billierose today. She's a controversial author, who's not afraid of the taboo. Before we get started, if you've been enjoying these interviews, could you please take a moment and follow? It would mean a lot, and I've got ton more interviews and other posts planned.
Good Morning, Billierose, could you please tell me about yourself and the kinds of things you write.
Billierose: I live in a picturesque little village in Ye Olde England. Not a lot happens here. It's peaceful and restful, the ideal situation for a writer. No one in my village knows that I write or what I write. I write erotica. The ladies of the Women's Institute would be shocked. Sometimes, I shock myself!
I came to writing through reading. I've been an avid reader for as long as I can remember. My mother taught me to read before I started school. A few years later, she was scolding me for always having my nose "stuck in a book."
JS: You have the duality that many of us erotica authors have. Were you always a bookworm?
BR: Yes! But I've always written stories too. At first, children's stories, for my little sister. Then I wrote a
lot of tales and poems that had beginnings and endings, but not a lot in between. I didn't know what to do with all that space. And then I discovered the Victorians; Galsworthy, and the beautiful Irene and the hideous Soames, her husband who owned her, but never possesses her -- until he rapes her. And I found the Brontes with tall, dark and handsome Rochester and violent Heathcliffe. They knew what they were doing creating archetypes which still inform Romance writers today. Those dark, ruthless, enigmatic heroes, antiheroes with their own values and rules, guys who will stop at nothing to achieve their goal were just so enthralling.
But where were the heroes of today's literature? The Romance machine of publishers like Mills and Boon -- their writers had the essence of Emily Bronte's Heathcliffe, but a diluted version. A pale comparison. I tried writing my own version of Romance. My first attempt was turned down. I know why -- I wanted to go further in my erotic scenes than the guidelines permitted.
JS: You were met with rejection but still persevered? That is fantastic. What did you do next?
BR: I continued reading. It was then I came across Samantha Hunter's Virtually Perfect. And she had done exactly what I had been trying to do. Write erotic scenes without euphemisms and innuendo. These were explicit sex scenes, but without the crude immediacy of pornography.
I googled "erotica" and I found exactly what I'd been searching for. Sexual fantasies brought to life through the written word. Writers acknowledging stuff like Fetish. The sexual secrets that we dare not tell for fear of disgust and ridicule.
I read and read and found my favourite writers. M.Christian, Patrick Califia, N.T.Morley. And I decided to try my hand at it...and found that I could write the tales that I like to read!
JS: What a long journey that was, but it’s great that you found your way here. Do you feel like your stories take readers some place different then other erotica?
BR: I think we all have our favourite writers of erotica. I don’t exactly mimic their style, but I do try to think about why, as a reader, I am drawn me again and again to a particular writer. I don’t know about taking readers to a different place, but I do find myself returning to the same themes; Dominance and submission combined with the abject humiliation of the sub. It is essential to me as a writer that the sub is turned on by being controlled by the Dominant and equally turned on by humiliation. No one is forced to do anything. A character may being shocked at the challenge the Dom expects of her/him, but through obedience is rewarded by the Dominant and by his/her proud completion of the task. So, I suppose that my genre of erotica is BDSM with a very large spoonful of fetish.
The area of Fem/Dom seems to be a hugely popular area for a lot of men. Maybe it’s because some men tire of always having to be in control in a relationship and in their working lives. Mark Remond has written extensively about this in Worshipping Your Wife. Men relinquishing control and women being in charge; significantly in the bedroom. I get a lot of response from men for my Fem/Dom tales; sadly some of them think that the Fem/Dom character is me and I have to point out to them that it is not me, but there a lot of women out there who would relish such a role.
I have a couple of Fem/Dom tales out on Twitter as free reads. For one of those tales, Laocoon where the male sub is whipped and humiliated. The story concludes at the moment he is about to be sodomised by a woman wearing a gigantic strap on. A guy left a comment which I found quite sad. “I wish I was him,” he said.
JS: Why do you find that comment sad?
BR: He just seems to be yearning for something that will never be. Of the men, the three who've contacted me at least, they all have been married and leading with successful lives. All said they couldn't possibly tell their wives of their desires...yet they can tell me, a complete stranger, not the person they should be closest to in all the world. Perhaps poignant is a better word?
JS: Yes, our society has pretty much made us hide our fetishes from the ones we should be most open with. There's a fear of acceptance that can paralyze us. You on the other hand, seem to embrace fetishes on your blog. What has people's reaction to your posts about bestiality and other taboo fetishes been?
BR: I've done one on bestiality as well as a post about necrophilia. The comments I've had on my blog to both of these fetishes have been intellectual, from writers and artists. I tweet about these blog posts every day. The only tweeps to respond are the religious right bless them. They copied one of my bestiality tweets and emblazoned it with DANGER PORNOGRAPHY!! I thanked them very much and they sent me a colourful picture of wicked people like me burning at Sodom and Gomorrah. A finger, presumably God’s finger, points at the bad people. “IT WILL HAPPEN AGAIN” the caption read.
A very religious lady responded to my tweets about my Pornography blog post. Filled with self righteous indignation, she told me that I was disgusting; a purveyor of filth. “Did you read the blog post,” I asked. I was curious, because the blog post was asking “What is porn?” and features the work of Hans Belmer and Jake and Dinos Chapman. It’s more about the politics of porn, rather than porn for porn’s sake.
“No I didn’t,” she said. “It’s disgusting.”
Here’s my tweet for one of my blog posts. “Necrophilia! I smile. No one admits to reading it, but it’s had 1826 viewings for FUCKING DEAD PEOPLE AT BILLIEROSIE!” The Bestiality blog post has similar viewing figures, as does the “What is Porn?” post.
JS: There seems to be a lot of people curious about these taboo fetishes, but no one wants to admit to it. Why do you think that is?
BR: There seems to be a terrible dread of being found out; the secret exposed, being naked for all to see. I suppose it must be the same sort of fear that male homosexuals must have had in the days before the archaic laws were confronted and finally changed. And guilt too has a paralyzing effect, that you are betraying a loved one.
But talking about fetish. I think that the worse feeling is that you think you are alone. A long time ago something happened to me. I hid it away, but eventually it bubbled to the surface and tormented me. Freud calls these happenings; “the return of the repressed,” but I didn't know that then. I agonized. I think I would have had a mental breakdown, but I told my mother. She put her arms around me and held me. That was all I needed, to be told that I wasn't disgusting, neither was I a pervert; the guilt no longer had any power over me.
I think what I’m trying to say is that it is through stories and language we connect. It’s always been the way, right back as far as the ancient civilizations. People whispering tales of dark desire into the night. So I try and make a connection through my stories and blog posts. No matter how freaky and weird you think you are, someone has been there before you.
JS: Have you ever had an instance to talk to someone about their fetish that shocked or surprised you?
BR: A strange story. A guy was working here fixing my windows. I was in the kitchen making him a cup of tea and he was working on the window in my bedroom. He came downstairs and as I gave him his mug of tea, he said; “I probably shouldn't say this, but your books…”
That awful flush of dread. My night time erotica reading library was on top of the chest of drawers next to the window where he’d been working. I hadn't thought to hide the books away.
He asked; “So are you into S&M?”
“No,” I stuttered before answering. “I write stories about it. Are you? I can’t believe I’m having this conversation.” He flushed. “No I can’t believe I am either.” He went on to tell me about his secret life. He’s married, happily, with a great sex life with his wife. He has 2 kids; a happy family. But he has this need, this urge…
JS: What kind of urges did he have?
BR: His name is Adam and there’s three stories. Three secrets. He visits a Dominatrix. She spanks him, whips him, straps a ball gag in his mouth, spits in his face, tells him he’s a pathetic pervert – and he likes it. The second secret is what he does with men. He goes “cottaging”. There’s a lay-by just where the main road out of his town links to the motorway. There’s a public toilet there. He goes there to pick men up for anonymous sex. After he’s sated, he goes home to his wife, his guilt and shame eating him up; he promises himself, never, ever, ever again. But he always does. He’s thought about it. Where does this need come from? He doesn't know; nothing sexually weird has ever happened to him.
I felt really sad for him; not sad for his sexual proclivities, sad that he carries such a burden of shame and guilt. Maybe he’s bi-sexual? He said he thought he was. Could he discuss it with his wife? “Never,” he said. “She wouldn't understand.”
“Why feel guilty?” I asked. “Is it because you’re cheating on your wife?” He snapped back, “I don’t know…just do, it’s just how it is.”
And the third secret. Adam goes to a cinema in Birmingham. A small, private cinema beneath a sex shop, where they screen pornography. Few people are there. He sits in the same row as a man and a woman; they are kissing, touching. They start to have sex. Adam watches. The woman watches Adam watching them. Adam masturbates. The woman watches him masturbating his erection while she and the man copulate. The best thing ever happens. Adam ejaculates just a micro second after the man having sex with the woman.
JS: That was a lot for Adam to admit to and it gets back to that earlier comment on your blog about how the man would like to be experience some S&M but couldn't let his wife know. How did it feel to be his confident? Did you give him any advice?
BR: I’m the only person that Adam has told about his “other life”. I mentioned that some men, so I've read, like the sleaze. The grunginess of a casual pick up. He likes his secret life, even though it’s such a heavy burden to carry.
The only advice that I could give him was to take care. There are Dennis Nilsons (serial killer of Gay men in London, England) out there. But Adam is a big, strong guy, he tells me he is well able to handle a bad situation.
I felt honoured that Adam told me his secret. He didn't have to. He could have just teased me about my dirty books. He could have said nothing. As I said earlier, I’m the only person that he’s told. He asked me about my stories and I gave him a link to one. He called in another time and told me how much he’d enjoyed it.
JS: Sounds like you've made some connections with people through erotica. Have you ever met someone through writing that has impacted your life?
BR: I suppose all of the reading I did when I discovered erotica, was market research for when I ventured into writing it. I had developed an online friendship with M.Christian, he's now editor for Sizzler Renaissance. But in those days he was writing, and marketing his own books. He encouraged me to try writing erotica. He said he could tell that I could write from my emails. So I did and he posted my first story on his blog. By now he's with Logical Lust and he put out a call for submissions for Best S&M 3. It just happened that I'd sent him another story, Retribution. It's about a woman who receives a dirty phone call from a guy. She does the last number thing-- it's 1471 in the UK, and he gets a dirty phone call from her. Anyway, Christian selected it for the book and that's how I became a published writer in 2010.
JS: Well that’s fantastic to find a mentor like that. Can you give me a little peak under one of the covers of your books?
BR: I think my latest book, Rebellious Slave (US) It's a long short story, just 7,300 words so I've priced
really low, I think 79 pence at Amazon. It's my first as an indie writer! It's a Fem/Dom tale, which a lot of my readers like, and it picks up an idea in one of my previous books, Enslaving Eli (US). The idea is that of the 'Coterie' an exclusive group of Female Dominants whose ethos is total subjugation of the male. The slave, the submissive is Reuben. He has betrayed his Mistress and she is contemplating his punishment. Over a conversation with another, more senior Mistress they discuss Reuben's immediate future.
All of the slaves at the Coterie have to take a vow of absolute obedience to their owner. Reuben's owner has forbidden him orgasm. Reuben has defied her and has allowed himself to be seduced by a slave girl. The story opens from Reuben's point of view. The first paragraph is visually crafted for the reader and details the image of a tall, strong, handsome man,
naked and shackled in a cage deep underground. There is a bowl of water for him to lap like a dog. A pot for him to piss in. The connoisseur of Fem/Dom tales will know exactly what is going on here. A recalcitrant submissive is awaiting his Mistress' decision.
There is an except of the story on my blog, and it’s been getting quite the comments.
JS: Sounds like it's a very kinky story. Do you like to write the same type of stories all the time, or do you try and mix it up?
BR: I like to give all of my attention to one story at a time. Although, if I get stuck I will let a story sit for few days and work on something completely different. Perhaps a blog post or Write Sex...I contribute to their magazine, one article a month. I'm exploring the notion of fetish. I can think and write endlessly about fetish, it's an intriguing subject.
JS: Fetish is certainly a multifaceted topic and thanks for giving us a peek into your understanding of it. If my readers would like to follow you on social media, where can they find you?
BR: I'm at my blog. And probably if you just google billierosie you'll find me. I'm on Facebook and on Twitter. I always tweet my current blog post...new blog post day is Friday. And I always feature it on Facebook too. Of course, you can always find me on both US and UK Amazon, and Sizzler Editions. And connect via Goodreads.
JS: Great! Lots of ways to keep up with you. Is there anything you'd like to say before we wrap this up?
BR: Well, I want to say that this has been an interesting and intriguing process. I've had to dig deep and recall things that I haven't thought about for a while. Adam, for instance. I don't really have a way of getting in touch with him. I can't find an address for his company...maybe they've gone into liquidation...I don't know. It's about three years since we've been in touch. I'd love to know how he is. Particularly because I'm the only person he's confided in. Or perhaps he feels safer not talking about his sexual proclivities. It makes it too real to be around someone who knows his secrets.
And can I just say to your readers, how important it is to writers to receive reviews. It doesn't have to be long and intense. At Amazon, all they ask for is more than twenty words. Just a sentence, that's all. It has the power to change and improve your favorite writer’s works.
JS: Well thank you Billierose. It's always great to sit down and find out more about the authors you enjoy reading. I hope that my readers take the time to check out some of your blog posts and sample some of your books. This has been a wonderful discussion and thanks for your time.
BR: No, thank you John. It's given me respite from stories bouncing around in my head. It's good to take a pause and reflect about our themes and where we want to go with our work. The discussion we've had has made me realize how important it is to focus on our readers, where they'd like us to go. But, yes, this has been an interesting and intriguing conversation. Thank you for the opportunity to talk and reflect. It's been fun too!
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